Another form of education

Over relaties

mijn gedachten zijn als volgt:
- het lijkt erop dat ik heel veel energie verbruik
- het denken in mij vraagt heel veel energie
- die energie moet ergens vandaan komen
- ergens vandaan komen wil zeggen: samen voelen wat er is
- in de wereld daarbuiten komt die energie naar me toe als ik mensen ontmoet, als ik lezingen geef, als ik reacties krijg op mijn verhalen en weblogs
- in de wereld hierbinnen komt die energie naar me toe als ik jouw aanwezigheid kan voelen, als je mij een knipoog geeft wanneer ik weer eens in mijn praatstoel zit, als onze lichamen blij aanvoelen wanneer ze bij elkaar zijn, als je uitspreekt dat je afstand van mij aan het nemen bent en dat je dat niet wil en dan weer terugkeert bij je gevoel en spontaan begint te lachen

verdere gedachten:
- in al mijn relaties tot nu toe lijkt zich een zelfde patroon te onthullen, een cyclus van vier seizoenen, waarna er weer een nieuwe cyclus volgt.

winter: ik heb het helemaal gehad met relaties en accepteer nu eindelijk dat ik alleen ben en niet geschikt voor een relatie
lente: iemand voelt zich aangetrokken door mijn zogenaamde zelfstandigheid / eerlijkheid / authenticiteit. mijn winter smelt want diep daarbinnen heb ik helemaal niks geaccepteerd, als een roker die gestopt is en de geur van sigaretten doet het verlangen weer opleven
zomer: er is niets meer over van de winter, er is een relatie, ik voel me blij, opgenomen, gevoed, ik kan de wereld aan. over en weer zorgen we goed voor elkaar, versterken we elkaar, zijn we samen blij
herfst: ergens is er iets omgeslagen in mij: waar ik vroeger de energie haalde uit mij zelf, is mijn aandacht nu volledig gericht op de relatie. mijn vroegere autonomie is opgelost in de relatie, er lijkt geen andere bron van energie meer te kunnen bestaan. ik heb behoefte aan een voortdurende boodschap van de ander: "je bent belangrijk voor mij".
de ander heeft misschien niet zoveel energie als dat ik verbruik (zie denken 1e alinea), zij voelt de balans omslaan van elkaar versterken naar "ik loop leeg". ze merkt dat mijn doen wordt ook minder, verdwijnt helemaal, alles waar ze vroeger op viel lijkt te verdwijnen en wat overblijft kost alleen maar energie. ergens is er een punt waarop zij het niet langer volhoudt en de relatie wordt verbroken.

en dan is het weer winter.
R

Interview with my mind

Two days ago i received an email from my friend Steve, who wrote:

"Ron, I have the feeling you may be one of the few who understands this: http://realsteveholmes.com/507/507 -- are you calling in in October?"

Steve's article is called "The end of beautiful dreaming", and it discusses the paradox of a mind that does its work.
So i decided to interview my mind, to celebrate my friendship with Steve.

---

Ron: dear Mind, i am doing this interview with You to celebrate our friendship with Steve. i hope You don't mind that i use You to formulate my questions?
I: not at all! it's Part of what I do for a living.

Ron: before we start, is there anything on You right now that needs to be expressed first?
I: you know, Ron, I have meant to tell you this earlier, but... (pauzes) ... well, letting Steve's article sink in, triggered a thought. I mean, I am so grateful for living in the penthouse of your body. It has such a nice View !

Ron: You are very welcome ! isn't that a Feeling that You describe? i didn't know minds had Feelings ?
I: yes that is quite often the case. people don't realize that Minds have Feelings too.

Heart: can i say something?
Ron: please go ahead.

(a short silence. an emotion of deep sorrow emerges. tears come out. then again silence)

Ron: thank you !

(Ron is still silent)

I: that was wonderful !
I: why do You say that?
I: it's Part of what I do !

( while Mind is having a conversation with itself, Ron is still impressed with the silence of the Heart )

I: Ron are you there?
Ron: yes, i am back. excuse me for leaving.
I: glad to have you back, Ron !
Ron: is this what happens when i disconnect from You? that you start talking to Your self ?
I: well ... yes ... I mean ...

( Mind seems to be a bit confused now. Ron pays attention only. Time ceases to exist. Heart is smiling. This is Her language. )

I: Ron, I think the interview is over.
I: who gave You that thought?
Ron: ok, ok, I get the message !
I: welcome back, Ron !

( Ron feels the patience, and the faithfulness, the loyalty of his Mind. A deep sense of gratitude comes from within. )

I: we need to talk.
Ron: yes
I: I'll do the talking.
Ron: yes

I: I want to talk about the things Steve writes about in his article. About Step 1, the dominance of the mind. and about Step 2, the regeneration of feeling. And I also want to discuss the issue of what reality is.
Ron: yes, excellent. anything else You want to talk about?
I: No, I think I am fully satisfied now. thank you Ron !
Ron: it was our pleasure !

Dit artikel wordt geplaatst in MB543 (MB=MensaBerichten)

Wie ben ik?

Vorig jaar nog dacht ik, als antwoord op de vraag “Wie ben ik?” : ik ben mijn aandacht.

Het leek me wel een grappig perspectief om dat zo een jaar vol te houden. Ik ben mijn aandacht. Ik ben, waar mijn aandacht is. Wat brengt zo’n perspectief?

Eerst maar eens mijn ouders. Ik ben – biologisch, genetisch, of voorzien van welk label dan ook – het product van mijn vader en van mijn moeder. Ergo sum … ik ben het product van de aandacht van mijn vader en de aandacht van mijn moeder. Hé dat is grappig. Ik denk dat ik het zelf ben, maar het is de aandacht van mijn vader. Of: ik denk dat ik het zelf ben, maar het is de aandacht van mijn moeder.

De tweede ontdekking was: mezelf zijn. Dat gaat als volgt: ik merk dat ik niet bij mezelf ben. Ik ben mijn aandacht; ik ben waar mijn aandacht is. Ach so. Dus mijn aandacht is elders ! Nu ga ik op zoek naar: waar is mijn aandacht; waar ben ik? Ik merk op waar mijn aandacht is (voortdurend de omgeving afscannen, ken je dat?). Nu doet zich iets merkwaardigs voor. Als ik bemerk waar mijn aandacht is, dan keert ie bij me terug. Hartstikke lollig !
Gecenterd zijn heeft dus iets te maken met terugkerende aandacht. Ik ben bij mezelf, ik ben bij mijn aandacht. Ha ha ! Die is fijn, die steken wij in onze zak.

Derde fase. Ik heb een eigen bedrijf. Het heet “Maak je geen Zorgen”. Dat kan geen toeval zijn. Ik creëer mijn business concept voor 2008: “Mezelf zijn”. Ik weet: als ik mijn best doe, dan lukt het niet. Maar wat dan? Wat moet ik doen om los te laten dat ik nog iets moet doen? Als ik mezelf ben, ben ik dan nu al klaar? Maar eh … En geleidelijk aan kom ik tot mezelf. Mezelf zijn betekent dat ik kan ontspannen. Het diepe gevoel van iets dat klaar is. Vanaf nu ben ik alleen nog maar mezelf. Het werk is dus voortdurend al klaar, elk moment van de dag. In de vormgeving is het, eenmaal het concept er is, gemakkelijk. Ik ben representant bij opstellingen, alleen jezelf zijn wordt gevraagd. Ik ben wilde gans bij een brainstorm tweedaagse in Antwerpen, degene die onnozele vragen stelt, en waardoor de klant haar blinde vlekken ontdekt. Ik verzin “Spreek-uur”: U spreekt, ik luister. En functioneel blijf ik erbij dat ik uw probleem niet begrijp, totdat u een inzicht krijgt. En mij niet meer nodig hebt.

Nu, een jaar later. Wat zal ik nu gaan doen? Een vriend schiet te hulp. Hij vraagt aan mij: “Hoezo is het jouw aandacht? Heb je voorkeur?”. Oeps! Daar lijkt een nieuw business concept, een nieuwe ik. Een ik die niet van mij is. Een ik die voortdurend in uitwisseling is met zijn omgeving. “Ik” laat me raken. Als “ik” er niet meer ben, wie ben ik dan?

Was ik in 2008 nog de bestuurder van mijn aandacht, nu in 2009 en mogelijk in 2010, schuif “ik” door naar de relatie. Aandacht stroomt door mij heen, maar is niet “van mij”. Ik ben het modem, niet de inhoud. Zo, nu eerst maar eens een jaartje niksdoen, en dan op vakantie.

Hartelijke groeten Ronald

The paradox of problems that can not be solved

This posting blogged first at www.ecademy.com

The situation is that i find it hard to express my self.

I setup my mind to be in a receptive state,
to translate to images and words that,
which my body has to say.

My biological body is a fusion of the bodies of my father and of my mother,
Their bodies, in return, are a fusion of the bodies of their fathers and their mothers.

I contemplate if it is possible that my problems are in fact their problems,
I contemplate if my body is susceptible to the same energies that their bodies were susceptible to.
Were, because my parent bodies are no longer alive.

I have this problem that has been with me for so long.
A deeply felt sense of ... what is it?
Fear? Responsibility? The pain of humanity?
I am not sure.

I wonder if this sense is a reaction from my body.
I wonder if i inherited this from my parents.
Maybe they felt the same.

What if they, in return, got this same sense, from their parents?
What if the problem that i hold for so long, is not mine, is not theirs either?

I realize that it is the same situation for me as it is for my parents.
I feel that i will be set free if my parents give their problem back to their parents,
and their parents in return give it back to theirs,
perhaps all the way back to Adam and Eve,
the original sin.

And now,
contemplating all this, i realize,
i must make the first step.

My parents can not give back their problem, unless i give it back to them first.
I come to realize that i felt this need to solve their problem,
and the fact that i can not solve my problem suggests,
that it is not my problem at all.

So now i imagine that the problem is not mine,
i still don't know who owns the problem,
but i feel the reaction of my body.

I feel joy and relief, so i know i am on the right path.

Now i consider the next question, of giving the problem back to my parents
I have no answer for them as to the question of : is this yours?
I only know that i trust them to do with the problem as i have done,
since i am they and they are me.
If i can do it, they can do it.

In fact, there is no option that they are less capable than me,
for how could i be me unless they were them ?

My mind understands all this,
and i can start the process of grief,
of saying farewell to all the energy that i put into solving someone else's problem.

I feel that it is difficult to let go of the problem.
A huge gap opens up now that i have no longer this problem.
What will i do? How to give a new meaning to my life?

This is what i came to understand as the paradox of problems that can not be solved

Best regards, Ron
--
Come and join me on Ecademy Club "Follow Me - learn how to become the Warren Buffet of the Atttention Economy"
www.ecademy.com

Driving my attention vehicle

This blog first posted on Ecademy.com

The story keeps coming back to me so i need to express it.

Some time ago i was part of a team.
There was an important demo planned on friday.
The planner forgot to ask me if i was available on fridays.

I had other plans on friday.
On thursday evening at 7pm, the demo was not ready yet.

We were kicked out of the building by the security officer.
"Building is closing today".

I wasn't going to go back on friday to finish the demo.
But i felt bad about leaving the team.

So i headed back home, a 3 hour train ride
Then, the walk from the home town train station back home, 15 minutes more.

Almost there, the thought re-appeared inside me that i had left the team.

I thought of it some more, and then i found it.
This was about me, the expert, solving problems that no other team member could do.
They needed me !

And then i laughed about myself. How would i know? These people might know a lot more than i do.

So then and there, about a minute before my doorstep, i decided that i would change the direction of my attention.
I kicked out this idea of "the great Ron" and replaced it by a feeling of trust, an inner certainty that the team as a whole would be able to find the solution in time.

i felt my skin glowing and i felt a deep sense of pride
as if the work was already done.

one more time the thought crept inside me "can they do it?"
and then i again realized that the "they" was as much ego as the "me" - it was yet another expression of "they need me"
which, by that time, i knew was the same as
"i do hope they need me?"

and again i laughed
joy about me
and my ego had fun too !

so we were laughing together,
me and my mind, my ego,
walking the last steps to the front door,

it couldn't have been more than 30 seconds,
the door knob in my hand,
my phone rings.

it is one of the team members
"I found it ! " he said

This true story happened somewhere in september 2008.
Ron
---
Follow Me : http://www.ecademy.com/module.php?mod=club&c=5591&xref=69061

What to do when inspiration fails in the artist's life?

This story might help you to overcome writers block.

Recently I was walking with my girlfriend Anita. We were talking about our lives. And she said she feels lack of inspiration to create new artwork.

Having known her for the last three years, I know about some of the changes that she's been through recently. She switched jobs. Her two sons moved out to live on their own. I moved in with her, just to name some of the changes. I would have thought "how much more inspiration does one need?"

We were talking a bit more about what inspiration means. Then i suggested that she uses this lack of inspiration as a source for her work. My thoughts went along these lines: artwork is an expression of a person with the intention of finding out about feelings inside that need to come out before the person can relate to them.

Anita said the feelings inside relate to desire. She imagined when these desires were satisfied, soon after there would be new desires, and a new cycle would begin.

I asked her if the desire to end desire might also be a desire. She nodded, and then i suggested that she could end her desire to end desire by ending her desiring to end desire. I call this "saying yes", and my quote that goes with it is "I want whatever I get".

Of course she knows all this, we've had these conversations many times. Still, every moment is new, and so we co-create a mutual understanding by not knowing if what we say holds truth for us, the two people that are new to each other and to themselves each and every second.

Dear reader, would you accept the suggestion that resistance is the food for change? Seeking ways out, avoiding to paying attention, resisting change. Is this really possible?

Anita's position is paradoxical. She believes her inspiration fails. But when she uses this lack of inspiration as a source for her artwork, then what is inspiration?

Best regards, Ron

Experiencing the three dimensions of persistence

This article expands on one of my previous articles, Movements in bilocality

The basic word in persistence is : sistence

Three dimensions of sistence are :

1. 
   The first dimension is the mind. Mind can only see borders. These are experienced as apparently opposites: parts of a whole that the mind can never experience.
   The opposites are : "in" and "ex".
   So there is in-sistence and ex-sistence.
   
   Note that the etymology of the word existent (without the extra 's') is from Latin exsistent-, exsistens, present participle of exsistere
   
   
   
2. 
   The second dimension is the body. Body can not see (= create) form, instead it can only feel content. This content is felt as one whole. The body can never experience the parts of this whole.
   The whole is : "re".
   So there is re-sistence experienced from the body, which is the swing of "in-sistence" and "ex-sistence" as experienced by the mind.
   
   From the mind perspective, re-sistence is the pause at the end of each part of the swing. Breathing in and out (= ex), the buddhists contemplate this pause in this swing as the entrance / exit to another dimension.
   
   To fully understand the relativity of perspective, consider mind and body as bilocality : two apparently opposite perspectives on one and the same area.
   To insist is the opposite movement from exsist
   Insistence plus existence are together the feeling of resistence
   Insistence / resistence / existence / resistence = the four seasons, the full cycle of breathing
   
   
3. 
   The third dimension is that which mind and body co-create. It is a feeling of growth, of "moving forward", an experience of something that "shines through" the outer appearance. Like annual rings on a tree, the tree's recordings of its "ex/re/in/re" cycles
   This forward thing is "per"
   So we have per-sistence as the third dimension
   
   

Now you try, using these three dimensions, with other basic (movement) words like

• press: in-press, ex-press, re-press, per-press.
  
• tend: in-tend, ex-tend, re-tend, per-tend.
  
• cite: in-cite, ex-cite, re-cite, per-cite.
  

You will find that some words are yet non-existing.
Perhaps you find other things, that you would like to share ?

Best regards, Ron
woepwoep@gmail.com

How do miracles happen?

Hi Jim,

Recently a friend told me a personal story, how he and his wife went upstream to find the source of the Elbe river. He said he'd started out in Hamburg, Germany, where the Elbe is a large river floating through town. Then they went further upstream, into another country, until they were at a small stream. And even there they could go further up the stream to the source of this large river Elbe.

My friend said they ended up at a place where the stream was so small, only one foot wide.

I asked him if he tried stepping into this one-foot wide Elbe. He said no. I then asked if he thought that his step into the source of the Elbe would somehow run this large Elbe river dry, further downstream in this city called Hamburg. Again he said no he thought this would not happen.

I consider this a miracle. When we think of a source, we think of something larger than the outcome / the produce. But reality is different.

I wonder if your question makes sense when we assume that the flow of our thought is naturally towards downstream, with our body sensing towards source which is upstream.

Perhaps miracles are miracles only when we look downstream?

Our body contains the brains, and yet these same brains tell us that we can imagine our body. Which one is larger?

The acheology of the word miracle shows the latin word for "to wonder at".

My suggestion would be to wonder at the direction of thought, and whether this direction is upstream or downstream direction.

Hope this helps.
Best regards, and thanks much for your endorsement,
Your buddy Ron

ATTN: Back to my roots

(response to a heartfelt message from Martin Dewhurst, founder of Team Penny On)


Yes, going home is going where the food is.
Food we need as a part of the creation cycle.

Food is physical food, food is love, food is order.
That's what we need.
It is the first part of the tide of love and attention.
From our viewpoint, the search for food is the search to alter matter into energy.

Then there is creation.

Creation is altering energy into matter.
It is the apparently opposite part of the tide of love and attention.

From the viewpoint of those who gave us the food, it is quantum leap, the dark side of the moon.
They don't know what the food they gave will do , what effect it will have an onto whom.
It is the daybreak situation ; the wave no longer coming ashore, and not yet returning to source.

Nigel Risner often says : when you are in the room , BE in the room.

I hope this compass helps you Martin to be in the room all the time.
To really see that you are in the room all the time, is to see that there is no room.