Sunday, August 31, 2003

PG: leaving home

The moment i drive out the street, my cell phone rings. My sister Ivonne is calling from Thailand, asking me how I am doing. I park the car. This is unusual, she hardly ever calls and neither do i. I tell her i just left my wife and kids only minutes ago. I'm going to live with mum and dad for a while. This fighting marriage has exhausted me, first time in my life where things don't work out the way i wanted, despite the huge amount of energy invested. She tells me that the person who has rented her house in Holland may no longer be able to pay the rent. I might rent her house then. She thinks this would be somewhere in Januari 2004.

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

PG: about long-distant feelings

I'm at work in Zoetermeer, a town about 80 km from where i live. I feel restless all morning, there's something back home that really worries me. By the time it's 2 pm i need to go home immediately.

During my drive home i suddenly realize that for the first time in our marriage, my wife is looking away from me, towards another man. When i come home she's very surprised. I ask her about my feeling. Yes there is someone, he's a really good friend. But don't you worry he's physically unattractive, i just need someone to talk to and this friendship feels great.

A few days later I ask her to think of another good friend, and then count the number of times a day she thinks of either one. Is there a significant difference? And then she comes to realize that she's in love with this man. She agrees to stop seeing him, she doesn't want to love him, just wants them to be good friends that's all.

But as it appears this is asking for the impossible.