ATTN: What is attention?

As you may have read in my profile, i dedicate this year (and probably most of next year) to the question of what attention is. I'm working on a white paper but i feel i haven't gotten into the very core of it. I believe that attention is the "power of mankind". With that i mean that when it comes down to the question "to act or not to act", the need for attention is what essentially makes all the difference. It occurred to me that the only way to find out about attention is to use attention itself. I think that is what the ancient buddhists meant by their proverb "attention is attention".

So I would like you to share your thoughts and experiences on the subject of attention.


Example: one proverb says "emotions, at the very core, always deal with the matter of life and death". You may have noticed that negative emotions (towards death) can take up a lot of attention. Some people i've met are capable of feeling attention flooding to the back of their head, where the amygdala is seated. (Amygdala is the center of freeze, fight or flight). This attention drain cannot continue endlessly. So the attention balance is headed towards bancrupcy. You need to increase either your own attention or get it from elsewhere. It's like an economy, but this time attention plays the money part. So how to increase solvability on your attention balance? How to stay alive?

If you want to add attention from others, there are two way that i know of. You either blame someone else, or you share your emotions with them. When you blame someone else, it is like attracting high risk venture capital. You won't go bancrupt but it wont do your solvability (aka self-esteem) any good.

On the other hand: sharing your emotions calls for an additional personal investment. Note that you already ran low on attention so this is not an easy decision to make. The risk is that the other person responds different from what you were hoping / expecting for. Then you are really in trouble. You may even need to slow down (burn-out: living on a minimum of attention). Now, if all goes well, the other person responds / connects / understands / has compassion. Then, some kind of accelerator is working. While the both of you feel that you hardly invest any attention, the outcome is that both have more attention than before. This is what creation is all about.

I hope my example is not too confusing - like i said i still haven't found the very core of attention. I hope some of you will join me on my quest, and share with me / us from what you've learned in life.

Thank you for your attention.
Best regards, Ron.

PG: Simplicity leads to fuzzy logic

The quest for simplicity reminds me of the law of two, aka the law of apparently opposites. This law states that every movement has its opposite movement. If one is foreground, then the other is background.

A friend once told me his view, that a team could never exceed twelve persons. What about a company having 100,000 employees? Let's suppose complexity arises from mergers (companies, production chains etc). The opposite movement would then be movement from complexity to simplicity, and from bigger (mergers) to smaller (chunks). These movements are foreground movement, one can observe how reorganizations are in effect operations to simplify the scope of a CEO to this twelve person border.

The background movement however is that by the law of two, simplicity inevitably calls for complexity. Meaning that these big chunks are living organisms that interact. Management should therefore acknowledge the movement from a mechanical view (time-related thinking, cause-and-effect models) to a more organic approach (space-related thinking, quantum-type models).

Fuzzy logic has to do with relativity (more less / better worse). It is used in situations when by the time you know the exact outcome its too late to intervent, because meanwhile things have changed again. Managers that want to know what's inside the black box belong to a different world. A shift is needed.

ATTN: questions about attention

My departure point is: people need attention as a kind of food. For people attention is (a source of) energy. From that point of view a number of questions arise. And those questions cover rather a broad area of science. For what is attention really? Can attention be measured? What's the composition of attention like; what physical characteristics are measurable; what qualitative properties does attention have? Where does attention come from? Where does the attention go to? How do you "pay" attention? How is it possible for something inanimate like a golden bracelet to "draw" attention? What is actually happening here? Can you store attention, for example in a painting? It is possible to point your attention at something? Can you avoid attention and if so, how do you do that? For the next ten minutes, don't think of a polar bear. Is "may i have your attention please" also a form of attention? Is attention the same as communication? And if so, can you determine the polarity of sender and recipient? Someone is watching television and I ask this person something, is the word jammer adequate or do I in fact draw part of the attention that was meant for the television? How aware are you, if you aim the attention of others? I look attentively in air, in the middle of on a busy shop square; the child of the baker will be a baker too. What happens here? Attention meets (draws) attention? Is there something like an attention sense inside the human body? Can you feel eyes in your back? I look in the air, beside me stands a blind person person. What happens? Can you draw someone's attention if you're not there? Is the attention of the painter the same attention as the attention of the person who looks at the painting? Does attention precede perception? Is there a maximum to the quantity of attention people can take in, process and spend? Is attention the same as energy? Example: I'm getting warm because you look at me == to me warmth indicates energy conversion. How does spreading your attention work? is it similar to focussing - or not focussing - of a spotlight? Suppose that undiluted attention is possible, how much would one person need on a daily basis?

-- what can attention be mixed with? and has it always to do with thinking?
--- with interests? example: conditional love - parents who stipulate the way in which children may express their love
--- with relations? example: wu wei is in a way approximately the reverse of reaction (reaction is the basis of a relation according to Krishnamurti)
- is occupation therapy a substitute for attention? and why does it or does it not work? what are the discriminating dimensions
- someone pays attention to me (gives me attention) and then i act differently. What happens here? Why can't i be the 2 year old child and just accept instead of responding?
- how do you attract attention? AIDA - you must do something extreme - is there a threshold on attention? above standard noise level?
- is attention the same as social cohesion?
- can you accumulate attention like in a battery?
- is there a need for attention?
- is attention flowing? (wave/particle)
- what about attention and familiarisation?
- how much attention can one give ? is there a maximum in loading or processing capacity?

Ron

PG: dynamic of nearly touch and then run off

Today, I am walking with a friend along the Pieterpad, a cross country path here in the Netherlands. We are talking about our lives, and i tell her what happened at the Avatar course in 2002, the Family Constellations event in 2003 and the incident with my dad that same year.

I suddenly realize that there is a dynamic in my life that makes sense of all these experiences i´ve had. I visualized putting a window between me and the other person. I can see them, they can see me, but we can not touch. I want to get closer to them. Then i feel the glass of the window. I realize i can not touch them. And then i want them to go away.

This reminded me of the child in the glass box.

Pappa wanneer kom je weer bij ons thuis wonen?

Zondag 11 april 2004.

11:00 uur
Naar papa. Karin en Marlies, met man en kids zijn er.

13:00 uur
Mijn dochter, ruim drie jaar oud, ze huilt en huilt. Ze blijft huilen als ik haar op bed leg. Tien minuten later kom ik bij haar kijken. Ze wil dat ik weer "bij ons thuis" kom wonen. Een diep verdriet welt in me op, ik huil en zeg dat het niet gaat en hoe ik het ook heel erg vind. Ik wil het niet. Ze ziet naar me, wordt stil en lijkt aan te voelen dat het leven soms zijn eigen beslissingen neemt.
We beginnen allebei te lachen, een enorme opluchting maakt zich van ons meester, het voelt aan als overgave. De rest van de middag is ze vrolijk, en als ik even later met haar broer naar oma ga (gisteren rode tulpen gekocht) ben ook ik stil van binnen. Ik verwacht dat zij niet langer over deze kwestie zal beginnen; ergens heeft ze de acceptatie een plek weten te geven.

PG: acceptance

(PG = personal growth)

My sister Ivonne called me up, mum is getting worse again.
She won't come out of the bed any more.

Are we going to give her medication?
Only the one against the pain.
It could be over any day now.

Thursday and friday i'll be in Baarlo.
I planned to go to family constellations in Breda next saturday
but Marije let me know that I'm not needed
(that is our agreement: i let her know if I'm able to come, she lets me know if i'm needed)

Therefore i decided to go to Lichtenvoorde on friday night, and nowhere else.
Funny enough i have the idea that she will die on friday night, or saturday during the day.
That she will wait until i return home.

This evening i will go to the school in Zwolle.
Shouldn't i be with my mum?
I have no doubt, or maybe a little.

Maybe it is my wish to accompany her to the border,
and wave her goodbye.
Maybe this is also her wish.
She might wait on me.

I draw my own plan, and try to keep observing
how my desire and reality can sometimes be different

Sorrow is for me the strength to make my desire be different from reality
Acceptance is letting go of sorrow.

If i'm with my mother, i have no sorrow.
My strength is streaming through my hand on to her shoulders.
Her eyes start to shine bright whenever i touch her. I can feel it.

The farewell is intense, though i am miles and miles away from her.

Ronald.
5 november 2003 16:18

PG: the child in the glass box

I drink coffee with my dad, before i leave for a 2 hours drive to the west coast. My dad tells me a story, it seems to come out of the blue. About one year before i was born, his sister gave birth to a little boy. My dad said that the kid was 2 months early, it had lived in a couveuse (glass box) for several days before it died.

This story is hitting me real hard. I rush into the car, and i start crying for about half an hour. Somewhere deep inside me a contact is made. I feel so relieved that this boy, whom i had never heard of, is recognized to have existed. I feel the connection between the child's grave and the glass box, and i get to understand why the people left. There were no words at that time.

PG: the Walk for Atonement

For the first time in my life, i walk long distance. I baptised it the Walk for Atonement, named after one of the Avatar exercises. I feel like Harry Dean Stanton in PARIS, TEXAS.

My sister calls again from Thailand. The person who rents her house wants to leave this month, so the house is available from October first. This is great news.

During the walk (about 145 km in six days) a constant stream of synchronicity accompanies me which has never left me since.

PG: leaving home

The moment i drive out the street, my cell phone rings. My sister Ivonne is calling from Thailand, asking me how I am doing. I park the car. This is unusual, she hardly ever calls and neither do i. I tell her i just left my wife and kids only minutes ago. I'm going to live with mum and dad for a while. This fighting marriage has exhausted me, first time in my life where things don't work out the way i wanted, despite the huge amount of energy invested. She tells me that the person who has rented her house in Holland may no longer be able to pay the rent. I might rent her house then. She thinks this would be somewhere in Januari 2004.

PG: about long-distant feelings

I'm at work in Zoetermeer, a town about 80 km from where i live. I feel restless all morning, there's something back home that really worries me. By the time it's 2 pm i need to go home immediately.

During my drive home i suddenly realize that for the first time in our marriage, my wife is looking away from me, towards another man. When i come home she's very surprised. I ask her about my feeling. Yes there is someone, he's a really good friend. But don't you worry he's physically unattractive, i just need someone to talk to and this friendship feels great.

A few days later I ask her to think of another good friend, and then count the number of times a day she thinks of either one. Is there a significant difference? And then she comes to realize that she's in love with this man. She agrees to stop seeing him, she doesn't want to love him, just wants them to be good friends that's all.

But as it appears this is asking for the impossible.