Sunday, July 09, 2006

ATTN: How i made friends with my ego

I experienced a shift in consciousness when i made friends with “my ego”.

Until that moment, i had always experienced my ego as an outside person, stronger than me, who would always prevent me from doing this or that, or persuade me to do such and so.

Then, one night, i was attending a lecture at the esoteric school that i joined. The teacher was speaking about the law of two, the law of apparently opposites. Black and white, thumb and fingers, red and white bloodcells. He instructed us to seek 1,000 examples of this law of two; and if you don't get it by then, he added, seek another 1,000 examples, until you do.

Further instruction included counting. He said our mind loves to count, so when you're on the road, count cars, lamp posts, trees, it really doesn't matter what you count.

So i was on my way to the south of the Netherlands. And i was counting. You know, my mind just LOVED it. I was having a great time. I thought.

And suddenly, there was this shift. Suddenly, i came to realize that my mind was no longer protecting me. While my mind was counting, i was seeking examples of the law of two. And all of a sudden, my mind came back to me from playing. “What are you doing?” it asked. And i had to confess that i was collecting samples of the law of two. My mind realized that it was inevitably going to be affected by this collecting of samples. And i got really sad. In fact i cried my eyes out.

It was then that i realized my mind had been my guard all along. Like Peter and the Wolf, little Peter with his wooden gun, guarding the house while i was away. Brave on the outside, but scared on the inside, longing for me to come home.

That is where i made friends with my ego, with my mind.

Best regards, Ron

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